"Am I Ok?"
This question seems to come up so frequently in my life anymore. Whether it be through a text messgae, an email, a phone call or in person. And, the question that keeps ringing through my head is how am I really supposed to answer?? Am, I supposed to say "I'm ok" or am I supposed to tell that person what is really on my mind? Well, if you are reading this I am going to give you the straight up honest truth how I am doing ,which is not "ok". It has not yet been two months since DJ, my best friend, my soul mate, my children's father, my everything has passed away, and this is why I tend to ask myself, how can people ask me if I am ok, when they know the answer? I find myself answering this question with "I'm doing ok" and that is all I have to give, when in reality each person who has asked me this knows the real answer. Which is, I am a mess, I can barely function and the only thing keeping me going is our three beautiful children that we have and will always have. I find myself doing things to keep our life together alive, while at the same time it hurts soooo bad! I find that everything I do, or say or listen to on the radio reminds me of DJ and the hurt and pain and reality comes back in full force, almost slapping me in the face! I guess this may never be answer that I will be able to answer, or one that weighs on my heart and mind forever...."Am I Ok?"
